Luciana Jury | Overcoming Regrets in Life | Don’t we all have regrets? Regrets like the numerous “what ifs” in our lives. Or perhaps the way we spoke some hasty remarks in a fit of rage. How about the occasions when we made wrong decisions and it affected others significantly? When we experience these situations with great intensity, we could get stuck in a destructive cycle of emotionally beating ourselves up. We do this by ruminating on our mistakes– chewing them like bad-tasting gum over and over again. This kind of mentality drains our energy and prevents us from moving forward.
Everyone experiences some form of remorse when reflecting on their past. But it becomes all the more serious if you have a tendency to magnify the bad things you did or didn’t do and become addicted to feeling sorry for yourself. If this describes you, then dwelling in regrets is keeping you from moving forward. When you really think about it, will you let a moment of failure or pain overpower the rest of your life?
According to Chinese medical philosophy, one’s heart is the seat of personal power. From the heart flows life– and it is imperative to move with the flow instead of resisting it. When you’re in the flow, you’re fully present in the action you’re now performing. Mental and emotional burdens are released. Instead of being strongly affected by past experiences, you are able to just live in the moment. That’s why the key to overcoming the burden of regrets begins with a decision from your heart.
Incessant negative thoughts weaken your enjoyment of the present moment. Learn from the wisdom of martial arts masters. Before confronting adversity outside of them, they begin with dealing first on the inside. Every technique is practiced daily, and the training never stops. Overcoming the burden of regret is like a constant interior battle. You will need consistent efforts to change your pattern of thinking through practice.
Don’t beat yourself up if you fail. Pessimism and undue anxiety may overwhelm you. The more you dwell on the pain, the more intense it becomes. If you can take your mind off the pain, it will lose strength and disappear. Acknowledge your pain and its source, then move on by thinking positive thoughts. Treat them like a painting in a museum that you will look at just for a short period of time, knowing that after the visit, you are not planning to bring it home with you.
Accept yourself and others just as they are. Be quick to forgive, especially yourself. Allow regrets to motivate you to make better decisions and to be more careful. Be kind to those who succeed when you fail; be kind to those who fail when you succeed. If you treat other people with kindness, you will find that compassion comes more naturally to you. It will wind up being a part of who you are, and it will make you feel like a more improved version of yourself. Eventually, you will treat yourself with compassion, recognize your value, and be more forgiving towards yourself for past mistakes.